Marriage is supposed to be a vow or a seal to keep two people together for the rest of their lives. This is the original design. As time passes by, the husband and the wife grow apart into different persons. The lucky ones grow together harmoniously. There are also others who grow towards different directions like branches of trees in opposite sides that hardened into trunk.
Do lasting marriages depend solely on luck?
Yes and no. Yes, because finding the right person to marry is like a finding a lucky coin in a pile of hay. And No, because married people have the choice to stay together in spite of all the issues between them. Not all people are lucky enough to find their soul mates. You can ask anybody on the street what made them marry the person they married before? Was it because they are in love? Or was it because they just felt they were ready to settle down and the person that is present in their lives at that moment was the person they married? The answers will surely vary. But, how they make the marriage last depend solely upon the two people involved.
You found out that your partner is having an affair, what will you do?
Many wives are keeping themselves ready for this encounter. Although, they never dreamed of it to happen, they just keep their heart and mind prepared for possibilities. It is harder to cope with a heartbreak if you don’t prepare for it. At times like this, when having an affair spreads like cancer cells, anybody can experience the pain.
So, how did others survive? The following are some examples of how creative wives made their marriage survive after discovering infidelity:
Wife 1: She focused on the advancement of her career. For her, having a job is a blessing. It saved her from being insane for thinking about her cheating partner. She made her office her happy place and her promotion on the corporate ladder as her passion. At the end of the day, when she gets home, she is all refreshed and ready to face her partner again. Although, something has changed between them but, with the state of her career, she knows she can survive cheating in marriage.
Wife 2: She wanted to give her children a whole family that she enjoyed as a child. After discovering infidelity, she made up her mind to do everything in her power to keep her husband. She is determined to move the heaven and the earth to keep the family together. As long as there are no physical abuses, she can weather the stormy marriage for the kids.
Wife 3: Infidelity is a taboo in marriage. Society dictates that marriage should stay sealed. So, to keep her and her husband together while minding the temptation from the outside, she resorted to consented infidelity. This means that she allows her husband to have an affair and she also maintains an affair herself. Both parties know what is happening. It is like an open relationship. As long as the one never leaves the other, everything is fine.
Why do some people never leave their marriage even though they have discovered an affair?
Different people have different standard of tolerance. They have priorities that they wanted to maintain inside their marriage. Some of these are:
1. They love the wealth they get so used to inside the marriage. If you have a rich husband who showers you with lots of money, that allows you to shop until you can’t move a leg and travel around the globe, would you leave him because of infidelity? They know they can always find comfort somewhere else.
2. They lack the confidence to leave. There are people who have low self-esteem and are afraid that they might end up helpless if they leave the marriage. This is a sad thing. The only solution for this is to get used to the affair. Accept it and be numb or divert your attention to other significant things like building up self-confidence. Seek other people’s help.
3. They love their partner, no matter what the other did or is doing. This is the classical unconditional love. Many wives know by heart that their husbands still love them like when they were newly married. They think that their husbands were just led to a crooked path. By staying inside the marriage, they think that their husbands will realize how much they love them and will come back home.
Can a marriage survive multiple infidelities?
If both are willing to stay within the marriage and one chose to tolerate it, then yes, the marriage can survive. All human beings have sense of survival. Use your creativity if you want to stay married and keep your marriage intact for as long as you can.