This is a tricky question. In this age, when men and women in marriage are prone to extra-marital affairs, the idea of justifying their acts is normal. All of us wanted to be flawless regardless of the sins that we consciously do. Let us dig deeper into the bottomless pit and see if there is a morsel of hope to make infidelity a blessing instead of a curse in marriage.
If you are morally equipped, why do you maintain extramarital affair?
Based on divorce poll, many are divorcing because both husband and wife are emotionally out-growing each other. This means that sexual relationship is less important than emotional attachment. He says ”I cheated because my wife does not understand my needs.” She said “I cheated because my husband is insensitive of my feelings”. Looking outside the marriage to get the sufficient dose of emotional injection is the reality behind cheating. This act only shatters your hopes and dreams to repair your marriage.
I cheated once and my wife caught me, how do we live after the cheating incident?
Women respond differently when it comes to managing a cheating husband. The personality they have is the governing power over how they will react. You have to know your partner deeply. Although, you will never know how she will react unless you are in the situation. Here are the different reactions you can get (one way or the other):
The forgiving woman
A man had an affair with his child’s nanny. He even got her pregnant. Her wife was saddened about what has happened. Saddened but not hysterical. So, the wife talked to the husband and asked him if he still loves her and is willing to leave the nanny. He said his wife is his life and he was just tempted to the nanny. The husband talked to the nanny and told her that she loves his wife more and that he will make up for the wrongs he did. To make their marriage last, the wife adopted the child which is the fruit of the nanny and her husband’s affair and let the nanny go. She forgave the husband and they live together until old age. The husband appreciated the pardon he received and loved his wife all the more.
The competitive woman
The wife finds out about the extramarital affair and confronted her husband about it. The husband admitted that he had a fling thing and will end it right there and then. The curious wife asks about how the girl looks like, how the relationship started and what attracted him to her. Soon, the wife is dolling up herself, making her husband satisfied emotionally and physically. Now, knowing that his wife is capable of attracting other men, he started to fence her with his presence. This made their marriage stronger.
The withdrawing woman
When the wife finds out about the affair, she never considered to forgive or to compete with the other woman. She cooked a divorce to end it all. For what use do you have to stay in a marred marriage? So, after confronting his husband about it, she went to her lawyer and filed for divorce. Now, she is single again and with the half of the property of her husband. She is free from heartaches and free to roam, at last.
What are the disadvantages of an extramarital affair to the other half who committed it?
Cheating partners are so lame to break the relationship with spouse to jump into a new relationship. Maybe, they wanted to test the acid first before the plunge themselves into it. If you have a conscience and you cheat, here are things you will have to carry all your life
Feeling of shame and guilt
Even if your spouse has forgiven you, you are under martial law. You will have to make it up for her all your life, unless you wanted to divorce her. Any wrong move can endanger you to break the marriage.
Maybe you are not a good husband but, a good father. Do you want to see your children hold a low regard on marriage when they reach their turn?
You will live under the cloud of mistrust
No matter if your wife forgave you, you are always under suspicion. You cannot enjoy the old trust she showered you.
You and your partner will experience this unless you are totally forgiven. There are times when your infidelity cuts in your memory and you recall how painful your wife have felt, this will drastically change your mood from pleasant to depress.
Infidelity is illegal and should not be tolerated. You and your wife must work on your marriage to make both of you happy and contented.