Infidelity is hard to undo but it is harder to build the trust back again. Cheating has been one of the main reasons why marriages break apart because its effect seemed to be irrevocable. And as difficult separation and divorce might be to all people involved, including the children, married couple these days seemed to go with divorce rather than patching up a marriage that is going through cheating problems. So yes, you can say it is hard to re-build a relationship bombarded with infidelity problem – hard but far from being impossible. And it only takes one main ingredient to re-build it too; and that is the willingness of both parties to renew their vows. You just need to recognize just why most people ignore this and would rather severely harm the marriage altogether when it is simple enough to decide to reconcile after all side dating has been ended.
Accept that it is NOT impossible to re-build a relationship torn by any problem, even cheating
As mentioned above, if you and your spouse decided to work on your marriage and really have an open mind to forgiveness, then you can re-build this relationship. However, there are people who just can’t tolerate infidelity in all forms, even simple dating or flings by their partner to another. These are people who think it is impossible to mend a marriage that went through cheating. Now, if your partner is not this kind of person, then there might still be hope for you, that is, if you are willing to change and mend the marriage too. There is no gap that cannot be bridged. If people can go across countries and some even reached the moon, you have to see the possibility of having the gap close between you and your partner. Sure it will take time and a lot of mending to do to have the trust back but if you have your partner realize and accept that it is not impossible to rebuild a relationship destroyed by cheating then you have one renewal coming up.
When you said PRIDE should never be in between your relationship, you should reaffirm this now
When you started with your relationship, you must have thrown pride out of the window. However, this can easily come back right in when you find out that your spouse has been dating on the side while you were married. This is because pride seemed to be the only saving factor. If you are the guilty party, it is hard to accept you have done something wrong. You might likely list all the reasons why you did it and you might not have list one reason that you are at fault. It is always your partner who is lacking. And your partner might think he or she have the right to protect her/himself with pride. She or he has been hurt and fooled; she or he doesn’t want it to ever happen again. So pride is needed as a defensive mechanism. Pride is also the reason why it is hard to re-build the relationship. It is also going to be the reason why you would rather let go than hold on. That is why, if you want to rebuild the relationship, you have to throw the pride outside the window again.
Forgiveness might come sooner but forgetting might take a lifetime
Don’t think that just because you have been forgiven, your partner would stop slapping it to your face how you have hurt her or him with your betrayal. The trust will take longer than the time you have been forgiven. You have to take the consequence for cheating or dating on the side. If you are being reminded over and over of your past discrepancies, just reassure your partner over and over again how you don’t plan on doing it again. Assurance is the only answer to recurring insecurities that will surely happen between the two of you. This is the effect of your dating while married and you have to accept it as a part of your relationship.
A broken vow is hard to rebuild. In fact, it is easier to just let go than stay in a relationship damaged by infidelity. But it takes the strongest person to stay and the wisest man to have it work again. Those who opt to walk away will carry the scars with them unless they have found to patch their relationship with their ex-spouse and truly say they have achieved forgiveness. So don’t carry these scars, be brave enough to be forgiven – work on it too. If you get pass through this, you will carry for a lifetime with a person you will accept you as who you are, warts and all.