Closing the door to someone you love is never easy. It will always be a heartbreaking situation because you lose something that is supposed to be beautiful. It will cause you a lot of tears and will drain you physically and emotionally. However, if you wanted a breakup for some reasons, you can do it by sheer determination!
Why don’t you use the technology to say goodbye?
Face to face farewell is always very dramatic. Don’t talk personally to him about it. Do not even think of using the phone. The tone of voice has an ability to persuade you. Use the email instead. It is business-like and you can avoid any physical confrontation. Keep your message simple and straight forward. Your mind is steady on its decision. He cannot influence you. He cannot see your tears because, if he does, he will only persuade you not to leave him all the more. Once you have sent your email, think about it as the last communication in writing that you have given him. Do not entertain another reply. Sure, you can read his emails and cry your eyes out in your own private room. Don’t show that you are moved with his persuasion. While it is true that love does not wane if you don’t see each other. But, it is easier that way. Or, the battle will be more difficult to overcome.
You have to create first a question-and-answer test for yourself and do it repeatedly
Listening to yourself is a form of therapy. Tell your friends that you are really over her and done with the relationship. This is a very strange deception because, whenever you convince other people that you are over, you end up believing it yourself.
Here are other things you have to ask yourself before initiating a breakup:
1. Is this what I really want? You have to be firm on your decision or all of your efforts will be of no avail. The cycle will just set in and you will be back into the relationship again.
2. What will I do without him? After getting used to have someone to run to at the end of the day, being alone and independent might scare you. So, before you break up, determine your next life. You can get another job to get productive instead of wallowing with yourself. Or, you can learn a new craft to increase your value.
3. Do you see yourself running back to him after writing a breakup letter? Oh no, not again! If this is the case, you have to relocate, if possible. Give time for your feelings to die or, at least, mellow down.
foolproof your breakup by creating an action plan
Create an action plan. Planning is the key to control situation nicely. If there are things that go out of plan, at least, it will only take few efforts to iron it out. Imagine what will happen after you send the breakup email. What would his reactions be? Perhaps, he would be furious and run after you. Or, he can act as if nothing happened so you will be curious about his reaction and try to talk to him about it. Be prepared for the aftermath. Make a clean cut wound. Although this is not literally done, clean cut wounds heal faster. If you can afford to just disappear and explain yourself later when the feelings subside, do it. Formulate contingency plan if all else fails. Study closely the reaction patterns. Most of the affairs started out like this- elated emotions, plateau in romance, dropped the frequency of communication, feeling of rejection, self-pity, reconnection and back to elation of emotion. You have to cut the cycle at once. Then, start afresh.
To seek other venues for comfort. If you are in a long time affair and you are used to the comfort that your man is giving you, try to experiment with other things like going out of the country. Or, make yourself beautiful. Be with friends. There are so many worthwhile things that are valuable in life rather than to waste yourself in a relationship that is going nowhere.
Breaking up is a long process if you have developed a deep connection with each other. You cannot avoid a big drama but you can minimize it. Keep your messages direct to the point and leave. Act as if you mean it if you want to make things easier for both of you.