“Hey, honey! I’m having an affair!” You really wish it were that easy to say. Hurting your wife does not mean you are less hurt. If you truly care for her, you have to leave your mistress or do something good. But there is no other cure for the pain of knowing that you have another woman.
You are tired of hiding, how do you sugarcoat your revelation?
Unless you want to leave your wife for your mistress, you have to tell her that you are seeing someone. There is no way you can say this without hurting her no matter how gently you say it. A perfect timing is the key. It will hurt just the same but you can give her the chance to compose herself. Once you said it, do not rub it to her by rationalizing your wrong act. There is no reason for cheating if you decided to get married in the first place. Now that you broke your promise, you have to get out of her life. Give her a chance to heal and have a life of her own. This is not a short process. The cut is so deep because that is how betrayals are.
Do exactly the opposite of what makes her happy
Be lazy. Let her do all the chores around the house. Do not get a job. Be grumpy and get mad if she does not cook on time. She would surely love to give you to the first woman she meets on the street.
Make yourself sloppy in her eyes. Don’t take a bath and let yourself stink. If she forces you to clean yourself like shave and have a haircut, say no! She will realize that there are a lot of good-looking guys out there she deserves.
Criticize everything about her like her looks, her body and how she dresses. Complain about her efforts that are not coping up with your standards. She will surely hope you’ll die.
Be strict about household rules like a tyrant. Give her hard time taking care of you and your kids. She will be running out of your house in no time.
Then, you can tell her that you have another woman without having to worry that she’ll get hurt too much about it except her pride.
What will you do if you want to maintain your mistress without hurting your wife?
Seriously now, this is a great dilemma. If you have fallen in love (if that is how you say it) with your mistress, spare your wife some love. Here are the things you have to do if you are asking this question to yourself:
Stand firm on a decision. Ask yourself a hundred times if you want to keep your wife for the rest of your life or you want a new woman in your life.
Consider divorce. This is liberating you both of you and your wife. There is no point in staying with her then hurting her every day. Give her freedom and also gain yours.
Tell her soon. Do not tarry on this matter if you are sure that this is not getting any better. She might appreciate you by doing this. Who knows the odds?
Confess your mistakes. Let her know why and how this happened. Answer her question. Wives, in general, feel insufficient If they found out about their husbands affair. Be honest in your answers. You are leaving her no, right? So, there is no use to hide. Blurt it out no matter how hard it is to say it. If there is a time to be perfectly honest, it is now that you wanted a divorce.
Talk in a civil manner. Drop that emotional trap and pity faces. Be civil yet, not harsh.
Say you are sorry for what has happened. She deserves your apologies. If she is a good person, she will handle this situation well. Trust in her capability to cope with the turn of events. You are not the only one who is filling a divorce. There are a lot who did ahead of you. She knows that, too.
Assure her that you are willing to share with the kids’ expenses if you have children. Mean your words, this time.
Talk about your future set up. How will you manage your clutter after the divorce? You just can’t leave the house. There are a lot of things that needs to be addressed like property sharing and other responsibilities. Be mature to get everything in placed.
Telling your spouse about your affair is not a good experience. It everything goes down to divorce, keep everything in place to start on a clean slate.