What have you invested in your marriage?
A divorce is a nasty process, there is no doubt about that, unless both of you have decided to go through this process amicably. But the thought of its nastiness is should not be the reason why you don’t think about divorce when you are feeling unhappy in your marriage – it’s how much you have put it to marry this person. Investments are not only monetary amount but the time you have put into the marriage and the relationship itself. How much have you depended on your partner? How much have you come to need your wife or husband? Do you have children? Have you both accumulated assets through your partnership? If the answer to most of these questions is yes, then you know that divorce will be more of a burden than a solution. You know that this will leave you more trouble and probably less assets than you used to have when you are with your partner.
Would it be easier to patch up the marriage than severing it?
You know, at times, unhappiness is a choice. When you start to see all the shortcomings rather than the things your spouse is able to give you, then you chose to be unhappy in your marriage. How much does a marriage counselor worth? Is it more expensive than a lawyer tending to your divorce? Would you lose much if you have accepted that you are human too and prone to mistakes as well? You know, your spouse is not the only culprit in the unhappiness of your marriage – you have a hand at it too. At times, it only takes to look at a more positive direction in your marriage to get rid of unhappiness. Now, if you are unhappy with how your marriage is going, think about how you can bring the happiness back again then maybe, you don’t have to see divorce in all caps in your future.
Why is it normal to see divorce when you are unhappy with your spouse?
Divorced people these days are more accepted than they were 20 or so years ago. You can say, when a couple entered into marriage, they also have divorce in the back of their minds. When unhappiness comes, and this surely will, the mind would suggest “Perhaps it is not time for a divorce?” Divorce has become attached to the thought of marriage, that being unhappy will then trigger the process of divorce.
Should you fear divorce if you are unhappy in your marriage?
This is like a Yes and No answer attached to it. Yes, you should fear divorce because if you don’t, you won’t act on preventing it. Yes because if you let this unhappiness go for a long while, you might have one being slapped on your face. Yes because unhappiness will likely start and widen the gap, the connection, that you had with your spouse that will lead to the end of the marriage.
However, you don’t have to fear divorce if you are unhappily married. Why is this so? First, if you are assertive and you value your marriage, you can work things out with your spouse. Second, if you have invested so much in your marriage, you don’t really want to just let it go without a fight. And lastly, if you are mature enough to realize that unhappiness, just like any other feelings, can come and go if you choose so you won’t let it be the sole reason for divorce.
If you have married the person who you thought worth your love and time, then you don’t really need to fear divorce if you feel unhappy. You can choose to see unhappiness as it is, an emotion easily transforms into something else. Unhappiness can also be a trigger that you need to spend time with your spouse to talk things out so grab this opportunity to get reacquainted.