When you are young, you tend to act first before you think. It is also very hard to control new found emotions. Ever so excited that at long last, you are seen as one of the adults, you are now free to explore and commit your mistake. Mistakes, after all, are a great source of knowledge. Well, it can be but getting married young is a mistake hard to learn from and mostly, hard to get out of. You can hear the weathered adults talk about it and you probably been warned more than enough. Of course, it is your life to mess around with but it bodes well to start learning how to think wise while young too.
Why getting married young never gets to succeed these days?
And so your grandma and grandpa married in their teens and they are still married today. You think you can imitate that with your young sweetheart and marry crossing your fingers hoping that you will still be married until you are in your thirties at least. But you know that at the back of your mind, you are living a fantasy. Hey, nothing wrong with that. That is your life after all. However, you have to admit that you will likely be happy for a few years – or not – but when you start having kids, you know you have to man up because by then, you are not experimenting with your life alone anymore. Responsibilities get heavier every day and even if you both work your ass to make both ends meet, sometimes this is not enough. But this not really the main reason why marrying young is not a good idea and will unlikely to succeed. It’s the whole idea of marriage today. Divorce and infidelity is not taboo anymore, unlike 20 or so years ago, in your grandma and grandpa time. Marriages well in thirties still have 50% of really succeeding, what more with early twenties or worse, teens. But to fully understand, you have to stop and think about the following as well.
Love is coated with the fantasy that reality can’t simulate
While most kids these days are probably within a family with both parents having their own family, love is still seen as redemption of some sort. Teens still think that a love so strong can fill that void of loneliness, of neglect. And so, if both people with this idea in mind meet, emotions can create havoc in the minds, they would want to be with each other forever. But they would discover soon enough that love can be fickle. It is here today and will soon evaporate at the first sight of problems and responsibilities. This is most prominent on young love because they are living a world of dream where problems are unacceptable. And when both young people no longer feel that happiness of being in love because problems overwhelm them, what happens next?
Disappointments of not living a love fantasy has made you seek out someone else
Of course, nobody is perfect and in the end, you will realize this. But acceptance is hard, especially when you are young. If living with someone becomes intolerable, you would want to go out. But divorce is not cheap and it doesn’t happen as fast as getting married, really. How would you then spend your time while waiting for a way out? Yes, in the arms of someone else. With all the stress you are feeling being with someone you no longer love, you will need an outlet. With this idea in mind, you open yourself to temptation, to other people to come into your horizon and comfort you.
Yes, you know you have committed a mistake of marrying too soon. But this won’t stop you from thinking about being comforted from making this mistake again. You have to ease the disappointment you feel and the best way to do that is to find someone who is sympathetic with your plight.
A marriage void of love can be very lonely. You will feel you are cut out from the rest of the world; from the action and fun. And you would feel this is unfair. You are still young and you would think you shouldn’t be tied in a seemingly endless conflict marriage has.
And so, to forget this, you will tend to seek out someone else who is all sweet, understanding and cuddling. You might think that with great resolve, you won’t cheat with your young love today. But young marriages just don’t have a great history of succeeding and is definitely not one for being clean. Some might survive the marriage, but not without indiscretions along the way. This is because of the reason stated above, when you are experiencing disappointment you have to have an outlet of the pain it cause you. And the best outlet is in the arms of someone who offers comfort freely with no strings attached but comforting interludes. And there are lots of people who will likely offer. After all, this world can be a lonely place to live.